So I’m sitting here at work wondering how I am going to eat for the next three days.. Funny huh, sitting at ‘work’ wondering such a thing. Eh it’s the whole wait for your first check thing. Anyway, this guy comes in and asks me some pricing on a few items. Then he goes into this story about how he’s out here and can’t find work. He went on to tell me how he was hanging out in front of a Home Depot trying to get leads, etc..
This town is a rough one. And I mean rough. I told him that I completely understand, or the “I feel ya” reaction. He just kept going on and on about it, like he didn’t want to leave. But I understood that like me, he needed to vent about it to someone… Perhaps the venting leads to hope. Sometimes it does for me.
I see a lot of this. And going through a down-turn myself, I can sympathize wholeheartedly. But I feel bad that I can’t help the guy. Shit, I can’t help myself let alone others. For me, I just have to make it a few more days and I can start to get on track with life again. Who knows what he’ll be up to.
I’m lucky to have a job and place to sleep. Just a few months ago this was not the case. Yes, this city is rough, not only trying to survive here, but it’s mentally rough. I can’t describe the feeling of being hungry and walking down the street while people speed by you in their fancy cars, or you see them load into a McDonalds buying more than they need to consume. It fucks with your head big time. I just look down at the ground so I don’t see those people who have comfort, food, and the means to exist, as the sight of them encourages my thought of forever sleep.
Our world is ass-backwards. The lazy seem to live lusciously, while the ass-busters seem to have it the hardest. I can’t be lazy, I just can’t. But when you bust your ass to live, you need justification in your trials. Walking around this city I see the saddest situations going on around me. With the heat blasting down upon my shoulders like a burden from God, I see people digging from trash cans and eating off the sidewalks. I see people so cooked by the sun that they resemble an old catchers glove. The poorness that I see shocks my soul.
The shit we do to survive here… The shit we do for a simple hamburger.